Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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