I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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