I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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