so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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