My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
handjob tips. give me some.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize