mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Randomize