No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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