I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize