Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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