So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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