I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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