I can tuck mytits in my pants
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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