So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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