did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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