wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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