My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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