I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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