Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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