I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
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i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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