I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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