Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize