fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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