I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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