I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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