I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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