Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize