Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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(434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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(918): we should wear snuggies to the strip club http://tfl.nu/cih2

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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(905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell

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(270): I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell http://tfl.nu/jfse

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(352): View more from Florida

I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

(352): View more from Florida

Just realized these events may be related.

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(352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd

Replies (21) Good night (6262) Bad night (1847)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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(715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn

Replies (26) Good night (5087) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Those memories are both hazy and awesome.

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(802): Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom? (401): Those memories are both hazy and awesome. http://tfl.nu/ars0

Replies (6) Good night (1794) Bad night (457)
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(419): View more from Ohio

He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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(419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h

Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (303)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.

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(602): I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College. http://tfl.nu/47ac

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(310): View more from California

He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed

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(310): He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed http://tfl.nu/mil9

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(409): View more from Texas

My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.

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(409): My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty. http://tfl.nu/rx6s

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room

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(828): You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn. (828): Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room http://tfl.nu/vl43

Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (164)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah

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(864): Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah http://tfl.nu/n16g

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(318): View more from Louisiana

My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

(504): View more from Louisiana

Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

(318): View more from Louisiana

I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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(318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn

Replies (3) Good night (253) Bad night (726)
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(408): View more from California

But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

(305): View more from Florida

No idea what that is

(408): View more from California

Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

(305): View more from Florida

I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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(408): But college guys get to crossfade so there's that (305): No idea what that is (408): Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together... (305): I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words http://tfl.nu/rs53

Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (127)

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