I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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