Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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