If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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