Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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