So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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