some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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