Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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