ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
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I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
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If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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