Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am one with the molecules
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize