He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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