she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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