How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize