he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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