Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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