he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize