I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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