Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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