I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize