she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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