What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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