She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize