Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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