You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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